Flooded

On Friday I'm going home to the Philippines. I am of course excited to be going home but at the same time saddened by the fact that a lot of my fellow Ilonggos are still suffering the effects of the dreadful typhoon Frank and the deadly flood it brought with it. As I scan the many pictures of 'Waterworld', I somehow felt disconnected. It's as if I'm so far away. Am I coping by denying that I am not part of it? This is a new feeling for me. I know I should feel something strong about it but being away for only 6 months have transformed me into somebody who's alienated from the place where I come from. I must admit it was hard for me to relate to all the drama at first since I know my family were safe. It's very easy for me not to care. Looking back I did care since I helped a friend locate his mom, calling all our friends in Iloilo to make sure that she is safe (She was found on the rooftop of a 3-storey building. The 2 storey house of my friend got flooded up to the 2nd floor). It's just that I can't feel that I really cared. There's that feeling of hopelessness in my heart. How can I help, anyway? What can I do? Even the ones who are in the thick of the scene during the havoc of Frank couldn't muster a word but only to weep as they witnessed the strong current capsizing a house with 3 people on the roof going down with it. I guess the only way to cope is to go numb.

Al Gore's 'Inconvenient Truth' makes so much more sense than ever.

Wala lang...

Many things are going inside my head, many actual things I need to finish but I am so lazy and tired of doing it. I would start one thing and trail off to another ending up not finishing a lot of things. Ewan ko ba, I guess this unknown thing that bothers me is just boredom with a capital B.

Talked to a friend just now through YM and I told him I've been missing my old life in Iloilo. Nope, not the work but the stuff I love doing there. Thrift shopping, dinner with friends, coffee, magazine hunting... My life seems so predictable now. But I'm still happy naman.

I love how my designs are improving because I can check on the production of it since my seamstress is at home. I don't understand why I feel so restless.

Maybe I need sugar.

Finally! I can post in blogger.com

Bad blogger, very bad blogger (blogger.com)!

I've complained several post ago about my inability to post pictures and all in this blog. I tried posting through Multiply and cross posting it here just to suffice temporarily but it felt strange and not the same. I couldn't take it anymore, I was in withdrawal like a rugby addict, so I asked, actually begged, my workmate David to have a look at it. He is a wiz in computer and all. And he confirmed what I suspected all along, the scripts of my host site, yes you blogger.com, is not compatible with internet explorer. A simple switch to Mozilla Firefox did the trick. Hay! I'm high now.

David superduperthanks! I owe you one.

My Blogger is NOT Working!

Yes pips, it's true. I've tried everything and it's not working. The buttons to upload the pictures are missing so I can't post pictures. It's just error on page everytime I refresh or open a new post. And if you haven't noticed my posts are all about the pictures. I don't even blabber that much. So this blog can't continue unless I or some miracle can fix this problem.

On other news, I'm quite alone here in Siem Reap since the Ramos Famille is in Las Islas Filipinas. Loven will be opening an exhibit tomorrow at breathing space at iiideas gallery (ideas shop, 2/f unit 102, first midland office building, gamboa street, legaspi village, 1260 makati city, philippines). Cocktails around 7pm so I hope you pips in Manila could support Loven in there.

Since nobody is home I asked the good pips at my hotel to adopt me for a week. So now I'm staying here. Kinda like a vacation for me also.

Yesterday Loven and Fate called me and they checked out Eairth at Soumak. I've been obsessing about the brand lately and i can't wait to own a piece or two. Asked them to buy me a scarf and a tee. I kindly asked them also to check out Homme et Femme if they stocked the latest Margiela AIDS tee. I collect those and I want to add another one to my lot. Fate told me my friend Rofel sent me a bunch of magazines where my work was featured and I definitely can't wait to check it out. Also, Peer, Michael and Jor-el sent me stuff. A Hussein Chalayan shirt, a Helmut Lang pants, a Dries van Noten top and other branded stuff. Me like! What an early Christmas gift! Or is this the 2007 Christmas gift? Hehehe. I also can't wait to see it. Good thing they know my size and the brands I like. I know, I'm such a brand whore.

Tita Jaki and Tito Butz is coming this May here in Siem Reap. I hope it works fine with my schedule coz I really want to be with them when they are here. I need a break and I usually don't take a break because honestly there's nothing to do. Correction, there are a lot of things to do but it's not fun when your friends are not with you. I won this horse ride at John& Narisa's masquerade party last week and I think I'l be saving those for when they are here.

Let me list the restaurants they should try here:
1. Sugarpalm
2. Meric
3. AHA
4. Ginga
5. Blue Pumpkin
6. the Japanese resto at Sokha Hotel
7. l'Angelo
8. Pho de Paris
9. Mother Guru
10.Angkor Century Lounge
11.Kamasutra
12.Paris Saigon
13.Amansara
14.Bubble Tea
15.BBQ Place

There are other nice places to go to but not for eating. Some only for the ambience and drink, others for coffee and desserts.

Flowers for Eric

My friend Andrea asked me to buy flowers for her boyfriend. He works in Phnom Penh, in one of the big hotels. I asked my friend Dave to accompany me to a flower shop. I had to 'de la Paix-ized', my term for making something chicer based on my company's standard, the flower arrangement. It could have been easily a freaking circus flower arrangement, given the locals penchant for piling on details, but I saved the day. I do hope her boyfriend appreciated the effort.

For Kawadjan

When I saw this t-shirt I instantly thought of Kawadjan.

He blogs at www.kawadjan.blogspot.com

He was the one who contacted me first. Parang alien contact no? He left a message in one of my entry and I commented back in his blog. What actually convinced me to make tsika is because he is also an ukay addict before. Yes, before. I don't know what happened but I guess moving to Thailand changed him. No shopping, no ukay, no nothing. Maybe falling in love makes you do that. Falling in love daw o! hahaha Yes, he seems to love travelling now since all you can read in his blog are his travels around Thailand. I heard he is going to Vietnam also. Aba, sosyal! But he promised me an ukay entry though. I'm waiting. And also, a feature about the local fashion designers. I consider Kawadhan a friend even if we haven't seen each other. We just chat. I need that here in Cambodia. Thanks to YM. I need a friend who can understand my krung krung moments. Who can dish out crazy but ultimately sensible thoughts and arguments. We can start discussing about my diet and struggle with my swimming regimen, then segue to hot topics about the blogsphere and the world, to his personal stuff and feelings while injecting Pinoy trivia. If you don't get it, it's not you, it's us. hehehe! We sometimes wonder how we ended up talking about such an such.

Anyway, Kawadjan is not dying. Far from it and I know he is parading his magic kamison since it's Songkran or Thai New Year in Thailand (pareho tayo, Khmer New Year din dito!). So I will stop now before this entry will sound like a eulogy or something.

M Cafe

Hmmm...May sosyal din palang bar sa Phnom Penh. And I thought it was only pub types and cheesy 'disco places in some cheap hotel'.

This one just opened. Friends said it was M cafe daw. 'Huh!? There's M Cafe here?!' I asked in disbelief. I explained that M Cafe is a nice place to hang out in Manila. Some of the Pinoys in the group never heard of it. I thought it strange. Akala ko popular ang M Cafe.

It turned out the place is called Mr. M Cafe. Johnny Manahan ikaw ba ang may-ari nito? The place is packed. We didn't get a table so we opted to stand near the bar and enjoy people looking at us. I swear we feel like attention-whores. Bwahahaha! Naka-Issey Miyake pa naman ako so I look like a crumpled paper. It was fun na sana when this asshole feeling Khmer guy came in with his bodyguards and started acting as if he owns the place. Valerie was confronted by the bodyguard for ordering in the bar area near the stupid guy. His bodyguard said the bar was reserved! Hahahaha! Winner! The bar can be reserved pala?! Ngek. Paano kaya kami o-order ng drinks? Stupid and feeling. He is the same guy who drives a Jaguar with 2 guards on motorbikes trailing behind. He employs those gurads not to guard him but the Jaguar! Hahaha! Ang baduy kaya. Anyway, we all felt it was time to exit na since to be honest and babaduy talaga ng mga local na feeling sosyal. Sorry, if we are 3rd world, sila caveman levels pa. Kung gusto nyong pumunta ng bars learn to drink wine without ice!

Happy Day

I'm just extremely happy today.

Angkor Century dinner and then some...

We go to Angkor Century for the delicious Chinese food. For ambiance, you go somewhere else.

In fairview, they had some 'cultural dance shows'. Sa Iloilo I haven't seen native dances being performed in hotels for guests. I don't know if in Manila it's being done. Maybe, some find it 'baduy' or tacky but I think it's so nice that they are proud of showing it to guests. Even in dance clubs here, it's not unusual to have a totally techno set segueing to some traditional dance music and the locals doing their local dance.

Back home I find that we Filipinos are not proud of our culture, of how we do things. Coz, really there are some things that we should be ashamed about but then not everything Pinoy is tacky or baduy, kahit na masa pa ito.

I'm just impressed that Cambodians do things differently even if a lot of people think it is tacky, the same way I think Japanese are cool or the Belgians are so refined or the Swiss are so exacting. I'm asking myself nga, 'Why is it that I think it's cool when a Japanese does something crazy but I find it idiotic when a Pinoy does the same thing.' Hmmm... Am I too Westernized? Colonial mentality kicking in?

Another thing, a lot of my friends are willing to pay lots of money for an imported designer/artist versus a local designer/artist even if they produce the same quality of work. Why?


Cambodian styling. Are you going to call this 'fashion' if Marc Jacobs/ comme des garçons/ Louis Claparols calls this fashion?

Off to Phnom Penh

Be seeing you guys on Tuesday. I'm praying for something...

Some thoughts

I’m going to Phnom Penh on Saturday to primarily meet an artist who I want to exhibit here in the Arts Lounge. I’m also attending the opening of 15 contemporary Khmer artists at Reyum and I’m checking out some new galleries.

On the side I want to see the newly opened KFC there. Not that I eat chicken but some collegues here in the hotel asked me to buy some. I know, it’s funny but then a craving’s a craving. I could totally relate like I’m wanting to have some bangus belly right now with garlic rice. I could go on and on about what I want. The list is endless!

If I have time on Sunday I might check out the little shops there and possibly meet some designers and discuss of having their works shown for a fashion show we are organizing here in the hotel, probably end of the year.

*

The other night I was so excited because a friend told me he is giving me a Hussein Chalayan shirt. Another friend from Malaysia, who went to Berlin, got me this cute zipper bracelet. Of course, I’m elated about the gifts since it is so me, but more than that, I get this warm feeling inside because they remembered me.

*

Last night, Pastor Blady and I started our one-on-one Bible study. I really needed it right now. I reached a point in my life where I want to grow more as a Christian. I don’t think it’s just enough that you believe in Jesus. There’s so much more facets of Christianity that I need to discover, apply in my life and really process. It’s not as simple as just believing.

One of the hardest part of being me is my being secretive. Sure I’ve chronicled so many things about me in this blog but those are just snippets of my life. It’s not even half of me. I may make this the wrong reason for having the Bible study but I think of it as a therapy. I unburdened to Pastor Blady some of my most hidden secrets which have bothered me for the longest time. I must admit it’s hard given the delicacy of the matter. But you know what, I’m happy I’ve taken this decision. I’m slowly understanding my purpose for coming here in Cambodia.

Some days

It’s really easy to complain about things than to be thankful. I was sitting outside the cafe with two of my colleagues and both related to me how today was not a wonderful day for them. I so can relate. I had to clean my computer because its driver is full. It was running like a snail with arthritis. I had to finish an ad . The internet connection was not so good so it was agonizing for me to send the files. I had to burn some cd’s and since the computer is acting like a diva it took me hours to finish it. Then I was not feeling artistic at all. And the worsest feeling of all – I feel so fat! It’s worst than bad hair day. It’s worse than ‘I’m so ugly day’. It’s like all those days combined plus a period (not that I know how it feels to have a period) plus that feeling where you just want to throw things up in the air.

Or it could be a case of lack of carbs.

A pout could not cure this. So I hurriedly grabbed a pack of chocolate chip cookies, asked for a glass of milk. One bite and I’m smiling. Like the same feeling after you paid for a designer purchase.

*

I’m so glad I decided to take up swimming. Somehow I got rusty. The first few times I was doing it I easily get out of breath and panting like some beached whale. I’m happy to report that I’m improving tremendously with my paddling, my hand movements and making myself float. I think my speed also improved much. Even though I feel I’m obese I must admit I’m losing those fats slowly. I plan to continue my jumping rope thingy. This rubber tire in my mid-section has got to go!

*

I heard a very close friend got back with an old flame. I can’t wholeheartedly say I’m happy about it. Very personal reasons. I just hope my friend is happy with the situation now.

Hanging Out

Invited Fate and Loven to hang out in the hotel room.

We ate junk foods, drank Coke and watched tv.

It's a nice little change in our routine.

Holy Weak, Cross Buns, Cambodian Daily and Eating Fish during Lent

Been tired lately, but a good way to be tired, since I've been swimming daily. I'm not getting younger and it's Ralph Lauren territory for me soon if I don't do anything with my bulging gut. Damn our chef here for making those delicious food! Unlike before when I go home and hungry but was too lazy to prepare something. I just drink a bottle of water, bear the hunger pangs and doze off to dream land. At least in my dreams when I indulge in some buffet it's zero calories and it does not deposit in my midsection.

Talking about our chef, some things were happening in her kitchen just this morning. Alerted by our gm she hurriedly checked the 'situation'. She instructed her people to make cross buns.

Cross buns should look like this.


They were decorating it in some complicated Khmer style. Chef, of course, explained how it's supposed to be a cross because in Christianity it means remembering the death of Jesus Christ. They thought the cross was so simple, you know, make Chef happy, so why not add a swirl here and a little design there.

She then went to her butcher to say that he should prepare more sea foods and fish because... Chef did the whole Christianity explaination, even doing some 'Jesus on the Cross' act by spreading her hands wide and how this week is a religious festival for Christians. Her butcher thought it was some case of bird flu that's why he's asked to do more seafood.

Yesterday, Indra (our Executive Assistant Manager) called the front office to ask for some 'Cambodian Daily', a newspaper.

'Huh? Are you sure? How old?,' asked the staff who was manning the phone.

'Yes. Oh, I need the one today,' said Indra.

The staff was perplexed. He thought Indra was asking for a 'Cambodian Lady'.

All in a day's work.

I miss Papa

At first I was really hesitant to tell my father I really like designing clothes. I would hide my Barbie's ( hair cut short so as not to distract from my minimalist sensibility that time. Grew up in the 90's) whenever he is around. I really got depressed when I was in U.P. because the people there are just not fashionable. I thought U.P. was artsy and all, di pala. People there are a bunch of dogs barking in the wrong tree. I did get out of U.P. and finished my Biology course, yup, I'm a Biology major, but I did some designing on the side for theater and I did some fashion shows. That's how I survived college. Anyway, he never said he disapproved of what I do but he never said he liked it, too. I just got the nod when he gave me a sewing machine for my birthday. He stopped commenting on my crazy clothes. But he never seen my fashion shows. Not that I know of since usually there's cd's of my shows lying around in the house. Wala lang, I just thought of it and him.

The vintage Phish shirt you see above is from him. He wore it to death until it's all ratty and with holes. He liked it so much for sleeping. I asked for it and kept it. It's the only clothing item of his that I have. I wouldn't exchange it for any other stuff. It's priceless.

'...the occassional piece of fiction.'

"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok...

Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair,
in routine and constancy...
in hopelessness and tragedy...
we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.

And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies,
we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin...
or a kind and loving gesture...
or subtle encouragement...
or a loving embrace...
or an offer of comfort,
not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs...
an uneaten Danish...
soft-spoken secrets...
and Fender Stratocasters...
and maybe the occasional piece of fiction.

And we must remember that all these things;
the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties...
which we assume only accessorize our days,
are effective for a much larger and nobler cause.
They are here to save our lives...

I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true. And, so it was; a wristwatch saved Harold Crick."

- Kay Eiffel, Stranger than Fiction

(swiped this from popicon's multiply)

at the cafe of Le Meridien

dave

loven & fate

moi

Random Thoughts
It's my 6th month already, half a year has passed since coming here from the Philippines. Siem Reap has slowly grown on me. I'm really the type of person who slowly adjust to something. I loathe change. I've stayed in my past work for 6 years not knowing why. The job was fun and my boss was supportive of all my crazy ideas but the pay was crap. I'm not saying this to malign the company. They really have to think of compensating their good employees well. But I digress. The apartment I stayed after college, I was there for like 6 years also. My last place I stayed for like 4 years. Most of my friends changed job or places to live in like 2 years period. I'd be too harrassed to do that.

My gosh! Time flies so fast. I was planning to go home this April since I want to do preliminary preparation for the wedding of my sister on December. I might have to postpone it till May or July or in a date where there's no big party or I don't have an opening to prepare. May I could go after the opening of my next exhibit. April is tight for me since I want to attend the McDermott Gallery Masquerade party and also I have this party for the GE group at the Arts Lounge. I heard postponed din daw ang Philippine Fashion Week, sa 2nd week of May na. I wish to catch some shows when I'm back.

Things I wanna do back home on my vacation:

1. Visit all my secret stores for clothing stuff.
2. Buy Eairth pieces. It has been haunting me in my dreams.
3. Eat as much boneless bangus.
4. Eat ube ice cream.
5. Hang out at Coffeebreak, al dente, esca's, afrique's, jd, etc. with the gang
6. ukay

Not that much din pala. Hmmm...

Ilonggo ka?

My Ilonggo gang back home.

Here's a reminder about your culture.

You know you are a true blue Ilonggo if ...

Your one peso is pisos.

Your bathroom has at least one lugod (or one for every family member)

Your nanay used to make you drink Mirinda or Royal Tru Orange when you have a fever, which is supposed to make you feel better.

Sinamak is a staple on your dining table (the best Ilonggo invention if you ask me... it was even banned on airplanes long before 911).

Your toyo is patis and your patis is toyo.

You use atsuete for your adobo and refer to pinaksiw as pinamalhan.
Your daily meal will likely include laswa, kbl (kadyos, baboy, langka), ginat-an nga tambo with tugabang and okra, ginat-an nga munggo, Linutik, apan-apan, etc.

November 1 means eating ibus, suman, suman latik, kalamay-hati, bayi-bayi, valenciana or other native delicacies with glutinous rice and coconut milk.

You call those you love palangga, pangga, langga or Ga.

You call your siblings or cousins inday, nonoy or toto... the househelp may call you the same.

You call those who are older than you manang or manong.

You catch the attention of sales attendants by calling them "day"or "to".

Your childhood games include tumba patis, taksi, panagu-ay, balay-balay, ins, tin-tin baka, etc.

You used to be (or still are) scared to go out at night lest you meet the aswang, tik-tik , tayhu, kapre, kama-kama, morto, etc.

Your grandparents read Yuhum magazine.

You call a person, thing, place and event "kwan" when you forget it (si kwan, ang kwan, sakwan).

You understand that "Particulars Keep Out" sign means outsiders keep out.

You use words such as "ahay" (expression of pity, grief, empathy), "yuga" (expression of disbelief, surprise), "ambot ah" (to say you don't know,
expression of impatience).


You often start your sentence with "ti".

You say goodbye by saying "halong".

Your favorite cusswords are "linte" (if you're slightly pissed off), "lilinti-an" (if you're now really pissed off) and finally "yodiputa" (if you're pissed off big time).

Guilty?
You are indeed a TRUE Ilonggo indeed!

Hehehe!

Please pass to the other G.I.'s (genuine Ilonggo bala haw ah)

(thanks to pinkiegs. day ginkawat ko, hehehe)

One shop: rearranged

Hay we need to stock up more. Super busy lang talaga. Wala nang laman ang shop. Kakainis because we really don't have time to go Bangkok. It's all work, work, work for all of us. I don't even have time to make my stuff anymore. Ayun, adun lang sa bahay yung mga tela ko and patterns. I have some samples pinned sa dressform but I don't wanna touch it when I'm tired and all. Nagiging tsaka ang damit. Promise. Nakakaloka! Kainis!

Yucky Post! Life as a Judge

This little mouse was swimming in my piss in the toilet bowl. I don't know how it got there. It must have fell or something. It gave me a dilemma though. Should I try to scoop it out or should I just let it stay there until it finds a way out? Or it could try dying? At least it is out of my hands already. I really don't want it dead. I'm usually very nice to pests as long as they stay away from my stuff. I'm still angry at that rodent who nibbled one of my Jil Sander shirt.

I thought it over and decided it would be humane to just flush it. Not prolong its agony. If it were you what would you have done?